Psalm in the Shadow | Spoken Word

 

My hidden Shepherd, I've stumbled unsure

amidst rumbling storms and shadow; obscured

pathways, a mist shrouds my searching gaze.

I have earnestly begged to see your face,

Tearfully prayed through troubled nights and days,

Standing under your heavy hand,

Not understanding your painful plan.

I'm like a lamb

to the slaughter.

Have you forgotten

that I am your daughter?

Have you run out of grace?

Left me alone in this place?

And I'm just tryin' to run this race

well, but you disappeared and I fell

into a pit, a dark prison cell.

Please leave the ninety-nine

and get me out of this hell!

I thought, for a while, we had a great relationship,

But it seems the One who held me

has released me from his grip.

Have you abandoned me

to the world's cracking whip?

According to their standards, I'm never enough,

But still I aim for perfection, and try to be tough.

And Lord, I know you use a different measure,

Yet inside your rule I still feel such pressure.

But where else would I go?

God, you are my Treasure.

Jesus, my Jesus, I remember what you spoke:

"Come to me, you who are weary,

Come to me and share my yoke."

But I have no clue how to drop my burden,

No idea how to pick up your light one.

I'm being crushed by the weight and exertion.

All I want is to see you, the bright Son!

I don't know how my soul is supposed to let go

of the load I've carried my whole life, and so

I'll just do the one part I can say that I know:

I will come to you, Jesus, 'cause you are my Home.

Here in the shadow, I speak out my choice:

That although I can't see you, I'll follow your voice.

O God Eternal, O God of Mayflies

O God eternal, O God of mayflies,
Shepherd, Overseer of the long-dancing
     stars' lives
     and the fleeting flame of flowers,
King of the beats
     of hummingbird wings
     and mouse hearts,
Choreographer of continental drifts
     and Grower of bristlecone pines,
Lord of human breaths
     and comet revolutions,
Are not our times held in wise hands?
Ancient of Days,
Who but You has seen
     the rise and fall of seas and nations,
     the birth of the earth
     and all the life her womb has nourished?
Who but You is the Life-Singer?
Who but You, our Beginning and End?

The Last Word

 

Words shook me.

I felt the reality of death in them – 

        stark, unveiled,

        shimmering and pain-laced.

A brief utterance in time,

But the weight in its wake

        bends eternity.

O God of bodies,

Your presence feels our fear;

Our tears

        are Your heart language.

Fragility

        does not offend You.

O God Resurrector,

There’s Light

        coming out the edges

        of The Sentence,

Because You are present there,

        already, now.

It’s just the first clause;

The Word at the end is Yours,

        is You.

O Spirit

Descend and move us,
O uncontrollable Guide.
We cannot manipulate
     the Cloud and the Flame.
How foolish
     are our attempts -
Categorizing the unknown,
Forecasting God.
Do we only like You
     when Your form is small?
          comfortable?
          describable?
Is our allegiance conditional
     on agreement?
          familiarity?
          predictability?

O uncivilized Fountain,
Are we embarrassed
     by Your joy and grief?
Are we ashamed of Your tears,
Humiliated by Your dancing?
Do we laugh when You weep
     and weep when You laugh?

O unreasonable Wisdom,
Do we hush the children,
Do we silence the prophets -
     ignore those who speak from the margins?
Have we doused
     Your refining blaze
And built walls to block
     Your propelling wind?

O ancient Fire,
Thaw our frozen hearts!
O eternal Breath,
Fill our empty lungs!
Expose the limits of our logic,
     our fig leaves of comprehension.
Awake our imaginations
     and nourish us with mystery.

O untaintable Purifier,
Burn up our false power
     that we may know Love.
Blow away our counterfeit hope
     that we may see Resurrection.
Form dust into clay jars
     Holy to the Lord.
Come dwell,
O unparalleled Treasure,
     and flow from us
     as Life to all the world.

Terra Sancta

My feet, bare, feel
        the holy ground.
Winter earth thawed by burning bush
        receives
                my knees,
                        then hands,
                                then face.
The real, the sacred weight -
        the gravity of grace.

Were you not Father, I would not
        dare request.
But you accepted gentle
        all I have confessed,
So I ask bold
        for taste, for sound, for sight.
Giver, grant
        my daily bread
                of grief and light.

Your Emotion

There is a warm knowing
That wherever I go
There will be emotion
Because you are there.

Love melts the ice when my heart grows cold
When I have left all feeling far behind
You release your own emotions from deep within my soul
And these cannot be stifled - they always overflow
In weeping, or singing, or peace and strength, or joy.

There is a warm knowing
That wherever I go
There will be emotion
Because you are there.

Unbounded - 1.17,31.10

These are the lyrics of a song I just finished writing today:

Your irrevocable grace
Your merciful design
To make a love covenant with me!
For my unfaithfulness
You'd take the death penalty.

Unbounded tension and relief:
An undeserved way out for me,
And the undeserved suffering of my Ever-Faithful God.

This is more than anyone else would offer me
Far beyond what any false god would give
The angels marvel and the universe sings
Of Your passion unmeasureable for me.

Unbounded holiness and joy
You are the Lover of my soul
I long for You, and I will not rest until I see Your face.

What profound a peace is this:
It is finished; I am free!
The Earth trembles from its deepest hidden places...
My resurrected Jesus is my Solid Rock and Rest.

Unbounded power over all
You send Truth out to bring me in
There's no place in all the world
Where I cannot see Your dance of love for me.

Morning Psalm

When sunlight breaks over the mountains,
And depth of vision appears;
When the morning warms my hands and face,
And the full breath of life fills my body and soul -
I praise you for your goodness,
And I praise you for your unfailing love!
New grace, New mercies,
New fulfillment of your perfect purposes...
GREAT is your faithfulness!
How wide! How deep! How infinite, eternal, and unchangeable!
GREAT is your faithfulness, my Beautiful God!

Prayer 3.21.09

Father God,
The darkness is engulfing me!
The darkness is crashing over me like a great wave.
The Spirit cries out within me,
But the fragrance of truth seems overwhelming.
So I want to reject it
And inside me is a battle between life and death.
Why is it that goodness sometimes seems too much to bear?
I do not see eternity; I do not see clearly.
I do not see that this is so much bigger -
There is so much more.

If I could describe a raindrop
Or if I could describe the depths of the night sky...
But I am small.
I am so limited in every way
Except...
In relationship with You.
You have set no limit there.
Only I set limits
Because my blindness causes me to fear.
I falter to trust, I tremble, I fall, I faint.
Save me, my God, the Life!
MY Life, Bring me into the light –
Let me see your light –
Even if I cannot see it and live.

I want to see you
I want to know you
I want to be with you,
I want to be with you all the time.
Every day of life that you've given me, I have hurt you.
But I know you love me still
Even though I do not understand why.
So bring me to you,
Bring me to you!
Make me holy
So I can be with you, God!

Captive's Prayer

O God, I am in a dungeon. I am in a dank, musty cave. I am hundreds of feet below the world. It is as dark as death here. My heavy shackles bruise and tear my skin. I am weak from hunger and weeping. Chills and soul-pain rack my body. I can hardly breathe; my life trembles. I lay down in the depths and from here I cry out to You, O Lord.

O Lord, rescue me! Rescue me as You did Your servant Joseph, as You did Your servant David. Show me Your faithfulness! Free me today from the chains that bind my hands! Let me see the sky; surround me with warm light! Let me breathe the fresh air again; feed me and give me rest. Heal my wounds, wipe away my tears, make my heart whole! Show me how to enjoy Your goodness, and teach me how to laugh once more. Only You can restore my soul; only You can create a clean heart in me, and renew within me a steadfast spirit.

Have mercy on me, O God Most High, according to Your unfailing love and the riches of Your grace! Have mercy on me!

Prayer (Day of Prayer)

Lord, capture my heart and transform it
to be like that of your Son.
Make me holy, whatever the cost.
Break me and heal me, Father of all comfort.
Be my only true desire and joy,
And burn away every reflection
Until your face alone I see,
completely and in all your full, unfathomable,
and indescribable glory,
Mi Refugio, Domine.