8.25,26.13

Deep, long, these notes that
Resound through and beyond all time.
Can you hear it?
The chords, the cords,
Binding all the suns,
Weaving all that is -
No molecule untouched by its waves...
Pulsing sound waves
Igniting what wasn't.
Life bursts forth -
Explosions in the void.
Oratorio unparalleled,
Its energy generating light.
Music of terrifying beauty -
Sound so strong it could
Tear apart the universe,
Reverberating through souls in
Awesome gentleness.
Polyphony of all creation
Now singing back to
This richest of all noises.
My ears are deaf no more
To this, my Father's Voice.

Part IV

My distant invader,
Your skin the intoxicant.
Mere knowledge of
Your existence sends emotion
     Through my veins.
Your hands are fire,
     And I long for your touch -
     Warm... burning.
Your voice is water,
     With its beauty and gentleness -
     Refreshing... and powerful.
Your body is solid and here,
But your movement is wind.
And even in your presence
I wonder where you are.

7.30.13

How gentle and quiet this power, how peaceful!
                                        Stronger than anything.
What is this? The greatest,
          Most moving of all songs -
                    Not raucous, not loud this sound.
                                        Stronger than anything.
And how can this great light,
                    So full, brightest of all,
          Take blind eyes and open them,
                    Blind them to see
                              Only You, everywhere,
                                        Stronger than anything.

6.26.13

You.
Spoken. Hidden. Hurt. Trying.
Perceptions, hope, eyes.
Time-constrained
Breathing, moving,
Soulbeat.

You.
You are outside of Me.
You are not Me.
But through the occurrence of
Communicating the opposite
Is discovered.
Pushing, pulling to move reality;
Striving to get
Needs met.
We the unseeing,
Unwilling
To accept the spoken invisible -
The sole healing... The soul healing.
"I can do it myself;
I have to and I will"-
Our voices lost in the wind,
                                 In the noise,
                                           In the void...
But we need not fear capsizing,
For already we are sunk.
And only the Breath who first breathed us alive
Can again fill our lungs and
Rebirth Us.

6.16.13

Practice.
Methodical this breathing;
This strange air -
Somehow it is faithfulness.
Day by day wondering,
Hoping, longing...
Spirit weeps,
Spirit groans,
Spirit sows,
Spirit persists.

6.10.13

All my air is in that place;
All my air is there and
My lungs sleep here, waiting
To return.
My breath is stolen -
Remaining, remaining where my heart is.
I, so unknown in my present
Though now
          Solid in love where I've been.

5.29.13

In this airless chaos storm
Blindly cling to life.
Recklessly holding my
Unspoken transaction,
Trusting that hope will re-appear.
And so,
          So slowly,
                        So slowly it begins like
A few raindrops in the dust.

In Retrospect

What unanticipated wonder
That you could open my heart so!
I, never before knowing
That I could love so strong.
Suddenly, finally, all the stories make sense,
Like I'm waking up.
I'm waking up.

How is it that you tear my heart
And make it glow
For the first time?
So many years,
Yet this now the beginning.
Cold, never-alive
Corpse thaws and
In miraculous moment, breathes.

At your touch, my heart pulses with life,
Yet your presence is not the constant one.
For you are human,
My distant invader.

5.19.13

These tectonic plates
Of my life, my world
Changing, shifting
Of routines and feelings
Of work and location
Of people and belonging.

Friction, scraping, gouging
Transitioning my lows and highs
Pushing, piercing my lungs from behind
I gasp to breathe
And my soul quivers in Your hand.

5.3.13

Who can track the progress
Of this supernatural locomotion?
The organic migration of
A thousand mis-occupied spaces of the heart
Toward the enthralling All-Presence
Who seeks to enter them all.

Know that the cause of this movement
Is the exterior Spirit -
The Artist who comes inside
The work of his hands
To re-create what was vandalized.
Unending hope yielding hope;
Pure passion inspiring passion.
And all very good that came to nothing
He re-forms from nothing
By a word, by a name.

Place your hand on the transition current
And feel the heartbeat of new life
Mutually in the Most Alive.
Witness the rebirth
Of this one so unlike and like you...
Dance into the irresistible stream,
And do not act as though you were still the same.

Year 25

This has been an incredible year for me, full of adventure and life. Many new experiences too... snowboarding, bull riding, and a whole new set of mountains climbed, to name just a few. I got to serve at a camp I love. I got to live in and fully embrace a place of breathtaking beauty. After a year and a half of many obstacles, I've been able to join the Air Force. I have been overwhelmingly blessed with friendships that have encouraged me, inspired me, challenged me, and changed my life. I have enjoyed a season of living my days surrounded by others who have the same Spirit in them that is in me. It has been a beautiful year of so much struggle and so much hope. I know my Father's voice, and he has continually spoken to me with gentleness and kindness through so many days of selfishness and conviction, and so many nights of confusion and tears. He has a hold on my heart like never before. He has enabled me to feel so much... I realize I have only begun to know the fellowship of sharing in Jesus' sufferings and his joys, his death and his life, but I've experienced enough to know that I want more. I want to keep hearing his voice; I want him. I am facing my future in anticipation and hope, knowing that I am never alone - I have One to share every feeling with, all my moments, all my days, my whole journey long. Friends, hear me: There is no one else like my God, and he is worth everything.

Part III

I feel the captivity and the freedom

     Of my spirit in the presence of yours.
          I don't want to trap you.
          I don't want to hurt you.
               Little bird.
          Will you trust me?
          Can I deserve you?

     Don't be lonely, little bird.
     Don't be sad.
     But feel, still.

Feeling is inseparable
     From life and love,
          And shutting it out
               Is the cage.
But you were born to be free.

So fly from the shadows.
There is light in your wake.

Part II

There is late afternoon sunshine
On the harmonies of your song.
Notes golden; Rhythms rippling.
You're so beautiful,
And Nature is proud to present you.

Representing well both Creator and Creation
With forever and my breathlessness
     In your eyes.
Do not fear your potential.

The Fog

Sometimes fog in my mind is chaos,
     Sometimes it is a silent blanket,
          Always it is confusion.

               All is unclear, The dim, The gray.
                    So many voices.
                         But only Yours the anecdote.

4.12.13

French press and paint
Ideas and wrought-iron chairs
                         Rest, though.

Words and Mozart
Exit-ramps and responsibilities
                         Rest, though.

Children and tall grass
Drumsticks and wind
                         Rest, though.

Slow me down and
          Lead my mind
                    To the Sabbath-season.

18.2 (Part I)

Hear my voice - my unspoken voice.

Where were you when I was

    Waiting all that time?

Your thoughts veiled; my trust tried.

And where were your eyes, that

    You couldn't see me?

Your body ever near, but never close.

You rare bird, you fire,

    You miraculous mess.

Shining eternal mystery, Igniting

    My sorrow and my re-creation...

        My metamorphosis.

You do not know your own power.

I grieved, and still do,

    The ways I have offended or lost you.

Gift, you dance through your days

    So very alive.

You with compassion like

    Sunlight sparkling on the waters;

Your heart like an ocean deep, or

    Like a river moving.

And you have moved me.