I am a Contradiction

Trembling verbal incarnation
I am a contradiction
Of systems, of values, of attitudes,
Of statements, of words, of meanings.

I am not un-created.
No, I am a sculpture
Sculpted by me:
I decide who I want to be,
And inDEcision
Destroys me.
I am a construction
Or maybe I am just
My own experiment.

I want to be a warm,
Tangible, real being -
Not a cold distant mind of
Dark matter in a dying skin.